He Said I Love You in My Dream

I've been meaning to write something inspire by this dream and I finally have. This is a poem I wrote last night, called "He said I Love You in My Dream."


He said I love you in my dream,
and it felt so real, I cried and said
I love you back, it was safe in your arms,
the world was ours, I wake up and your gone,
you said I love you, but it was just a dream,
I'm torn apart inside, it never will be,
He broke my heart, now, even in my dreams,
Because he said I love you,
            We never will be


             By: Sandra Cruz

Keeping up

You know,
I haven't posted any thing in awhile. I was hoping to do some more Fashion Friday's but I don't now if blogger will let me post pictures. Some of you may have started your "winter" while others are still warm. If you have snow, I'm so sorry. We may only have rain at the moment but it has been cold. From my perspective of course. I'll be having the week off this week due to the holiday and soon the semester will be over. Yesterday my friend and I went to the movies and saw "Big Hero 6" and it was so adorable. Kudos to BayMax and the Disney Animators. I'm actually related to a Disney Animator who worked on this movie as a Lighting Supervisor. He also did Frozen, Wreck-it Ralph and other movies/shorts. He is working on the next Toy Story if you all don't know and a future Disney movie that I don't know of. So Great Job Corey Butler, your family is so proud!! I'll will try to post more as possible. I kinda have some inspiration somewhere in my pocket ;)


Sandra

Changes

So I feel that things are going to be changing for me. I don't know why but I just have this feeling and in a positive way. My wounds are healing and I'm going to be gradutating college soon, I have a new friend that I trust. Maybe other changes will happen too.

Blogger posting problems!!

Ok so I was trying to post some pictures for my weekly fashion friday post (Yes! I know it hasn't been weekly lately.) But yeah. I was going do some wedding dress dreams that I like and maybe has a similiar dress too.. The site isn't letting upload the pictures.. So I guess Fashion Friday is cancelled for now.. Sorry folks!! I'll still try to post other stuff, like in the past though.


LOVE, SandiDee

Some broken hearts dont heal fast enough..

I have so many mixed emotions that are about different things and situations. My friend is getting married and my heart is sad because I have feeling for him that wont let go. In the past before he met his fiance, I thought he was interested, but I guess not. In a way I blame him for giving me mixed signals. But now, in less than 2 weeks it will be done and my heart will have to get over it. I just have to deal. I have to believe that there is someone else out there for me. But I'm tired of the same advice. "You're pretty!" "Pretty big eyes!" Well NO GUY has ever gave me a compliment like that. I dont want to develop feelings to the next one that comes around unless they like me back. This is all too hurtful. And the second time it has happened. But the first I felt I had a chance.

Fashion Friday~ Disney Outfits

In the honor of going back to Disneyland this year, I found some adorable Disney themed outfits!!

Option 1: Pascal!!

One of my favorite characters. This is the perfect summer outfit!

Option 2:

 

 

Option 2: Love the colors. and my favorite are the shoes...

 

Option 3: Date night!?

Option 4: Who would not love this. My friend Ash. would look so cute in this. I'd wear it too. I have a similar necklace.

 

Option 5: My neice Andrea would look so cute in the Stitch outfit, she loves Lilo and Stitch. I love all the shoe options in these outfits.

 

 

HAPPY SUMMER!

Love,

Sandra D.

Summer at Last!

Hey viewers!!
So the sun is in the sky and the temperature is rising! And school is out of session. I have a full summer ahead of me. Starting in June I have a dance recital, vacation in L.A with the family, and in July our Regional (before District) Convention in Sacramento. I am so excited!! For my recital I will be in two numbers, (I wish it was more!) My jazz is to Shikira's  "I can't remember to forget you" and for hip hop is "Pharrell's "Happy."
We are going to L.A after and back to Disneyland. Hopefully we can go to the beach since we haven't been in about 3 years. I miss it!!. We also will be going on NBC's The Talk and watch in the audience or if not to Universal Studios. If so I am so excited about the NEW Minion Mayhem ride!!! Along with some family time with fun and great laughs!
Right now, I just happy that the semester is over and I will be finally graduating from college next year! Hope you all have a great summer!!

Love, Sandra D.

Fashion Friday~ Evening Gowns

Hi Viewers,
I am so sorry I haven't been posting, I've been meaning too. Just been so busy and a lot going on my mind.  I got finals coming so I'm pretty excited for summer break!!! I'm sure you guys are too. :) Anyway, since last time I posted, I finished a new song I wrote, maybe I'll share it later. I finally got inspired, It's called Change Your Mind. So.. I was trying to think of what to share with you because It's FRIDAY!!! Happy FASHION FRIDAY EVERYONE!!!! So today I'm going to share some evening gowns, since I always as a child wanted to be a princess and I know its prom season so here we go...

 Option 1: My favorite color is pink. I love the sparkles on top of this dress. I think it is very pretty and princessy!!

 

 

 

Option 2: I think this dress is very classy and elegant. I love the glitter skirt and the black bow. I just love it.

Option 3: I have always been a fan of light cream and peach colored dresses. For my future bridesmaid dresses they will be peach/blush pink. I would love to wear this dress somewhere fancy. In fact I would wear all of these dresses.

Until Next Time!! :)
Sandra

Fashion Friday: SHOES!!

Hey Guys!! Happy FASHION FRIDAY!!!

So who doesn't love shoes? You gotta love them! This week I am blogging about shoes. I like all kinds of shoes. They are one of my obsessions, I'm a girl! And I LOVE SHOES!!!

Option 1: Vans!! I love the color and design on these. I Want Them!! Very artsy!

 

Option 2: Very cute sparkly flats. The bows are really cute too. I think they would look cute for like a party or going out.

 

 Option 3: Okay, so let me tell you about heels, love them but cant walk in them. I usually wear heels that aren't that high maybe at lease up to 2 inches 2 1/2..?? I wish I could walk in these but I cant. They are really cute. Love Cheetah Girl.. I like bringing out my inner cheetah girl! :)

Option 4: I have really gotten into oxfords lately. They are cute casual shoes and you can dress them up. I like the style of these with lace. Summer and Spring!

Option 4: Summer is calling and it will be here soon. Love these sandals for it. Don't forget the bling and pink nail polish! Love it!!

So these are my picks for the week. It is very hard to choose, there are just so many!! It makes me want to go shoe shopping. I need new things for the season. Enjoy your Weekend Guys!

~Sandra


***Pictures from Pinterest.com***

Fashion Friday: Vanessa Hudgens

Vanessa Hudgens, best known as Gabriella Montez in High School Musical is one of my biggest fashion inspirations. I have always admired what she wore is playing Gabriella. She is beautiful, joyful, and colorful. Here are some of my favorites that she has worn in the pass from photo shoots, premieres, and being Kohl's Candies girl.

Option 1: Vanessa as Gabriella. This is the first out that I fell in love with worn by her in the movie. It is in the scene were she is singing "When there was me and you". I love the blue sweater and the belt. I also love her hair in nice loose curls. You don't see but along with this outfit she was wearing black shoes with a small heel. I have similar shoes to hers.

Option 2: Again, Vanessa as Gabriella from High School Musical 3: Senior Year. They always had her wearing flattering adorable dresses. This was sweet and innocent looking and I love the flowers in her hair. It showed Gabriella's personality.

Option 3: I don't know why I love this picture so much it's either her putting lip gloss on in a mirror or her boho headband?? Love it!!

Option 4: Yellow, Yellow, Yellow!! LOVE!!!!! Her premiere dress for Journey 2, alongside "The Rock" and Josh Hutcherson. One of my favorite colors and the skirt is just GEORGOUS!

 

Option 5: Her Hair! I love this hairstyle. Vanessa has been on a boho style kick and I think it really suits her. I like the shirt but I don't like the low cut. It looks very comfortable.

 

Option 6, 7, & 8: Miss Candies! I'd wear all of these outfits. My favorite is her blue stiletto's in the first picture. If only I could walk in them! LOL

Well, Thanks for reading and until next time!
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
SANDRA D.

Clicking with People

Its is late as I am writing this blog entry. 12:05 am to be exact. I have a tendency to not turn my mind off and there are so many thoughts. I try to turn it off but sometimes it is difficult. I wish I was more talkative and could make friends easy. I'm told I am a very nice person that can make anyone my friend. But that's always not the case. From what I see, if I don't instantly click with someone. I instantly think that they think I'm odd or weird. I guess that has to do with my self-esteem. I recently met a girl that I don't really "click" with. I don't know why? I try taking to her but it doesn't go very far and then I feel awkward and we just aren't close friends, not even that. I try being nice.  She doesn't take the time to have a conversation with me, so why do I even bother. I think she just doesn't even like me. I mean What have I done to her? NOTHING!! But she is with someone I do like and I cant do anything about it. I'm not going to "steal" him. Maybe that's why she doesn't like me?? Well whatever.

Fashion Friday- Spring Outfits Week!!

Hey Viewers,
I have a new idea that I am going to try and do on a regular bases each Friday called "Fashion Friday." Like a week day fashion blog. So starting today is the 1st issue about Spring in favor of the 1st day of Spring that was yesterday!

Outfit 1:  I always had a fondness of white spring dresses. I love the bow belt on this simple dress. It would be nice on a casual day, a date, and a special event. I also really like the models light wavy hair to go along with.

 

Outfit 2: I always thought that this type of outfit was adorable, a cute dress with converse or high top converse. It reminds me of kinda a tomboyish style and very casual. I have never attempted this style, and maybe I will one of these day. I saw a movie last month with one of my best friends called "Endless Love" and this outfit was very similar to the main girl character. I love it!

 

Outfit 3: I love floral design spring dresses and this on is so cute. I love the jacket, purse, belt, and sunglasses that go along with it. It completes the whole outfit. It is also very summer-y. Don't you think?

Outfit 4: I LOVE pink. So I absolutely love these pants. I also like dressing it up with the denim shirt. I also like the scandals. Very cute! I would where this whole outfit!

*All these picture's are from pinterest.com.

Lonely

I feel lonely tonight. All I can hear are my thoughts and the TV in the back ground. I'm not alone, but I still feel that way. I don't like feeling out of place or ignored. Like an outsider. I don't seem to fit in very easily. I don't know why. Its just the way it is. I don't mean to be shy either. I can't help but be. A shadow. Invisible. Curious. alone.
I guess I'm in a different world of  imagination. My friends think that I have a lot imagination. My mind does tend to wonder with thoughts and also memories. I would change things. But since I can't I just have to deal with it. And speaking of being lonely, I don't like cliques! They are everywhere. I thought it would of been done in high school, but I was wrong. Pfft.
Feeling lonely also makes me feel sad and depressed. Well it's late and I should go. This was just on my mind and I thought I'd share.
Goodnight~

Living with Panic Attacks

When I was fifteen I was diagnosed with Panic disorder, where I tend to get panic attacks very frequently. I've been living with it for almost 8 years and I can't believe its already been that long. I have always dealt with anxiety ever since I could remember, but never so bad. I don't know why I got panic attacks in the first place. I remember why the first time, but after it just didn't make sense. Every night they kept coming. It always feels like something is wrong, like I'm having a heart attack and I am dying. NOT FUN AT ALL.

 (The First Night)
It was night and I had woken up for some reason that I though I felt a bug in my ear. Anxiety took over my body and I couldn't breath, I was shaking, and cold. I never felt like this before and it terrified me. I ran to my mom's room. She had experience panic attacks before and figured out what was wrong with me. So after calming down and going back to bed, I was okay. There was no bug in my ear.

(Second Night)
The same feeling happened all over again. My mom ended taking me to the ER. This time I didn't know why I was having another panic attack. And this time, it was scarier.


After that, my panic attacks never seemed to go away, so I ended up going to the doctors and seen counselors. Through the years it's been a roller coaster ride for me. I've been through so many doctors, counselors, and medication.  All because of the things that weren't helping and government insurance and changes.  Every day for 8 years I have been waiting for the day these panic attacks will stop and when I don't need medication. I keep fighting and sometimes it feels like I'm trapped in my own body.
All I have is hope and to keep fighting. Through the years I've had blood test, EKG's, chest x-rays, an upper endoscopy, ER visits, vitamins and everything seems to be normal. I'm healthy. But I don't feel healthy. I'm tired. I don't want to go through this anymore. I don't feel normal and it's harder to reach my goals.
But I'm still fighting, and I pray that I will never give up.
Sandra